What Does This Make Me?
by yupit'sMAGZ
Summary: Alice Brandon never thought one party could rip her world in to a million pieces, Jasper Whitlock never thought he would be helping her put it back together. AH/AU. Rated T for rape  non-descriptive  and some language. PLEASE read and review!
1. The Invitation

**What Does This Make Me?**

The Invitation

Rosalie and I stood looking at our reflections in the mirror of Forever 21's dressing room. All afternoon we had been trying to find the right outfit for the party we were going to tonight and we had finally found them.

I had been sitting at our usual lunch table with Bella when Rose ran in to tell us.

"Guess what you're going to be doing tonight?" She said with a huge smile on her face.

"Watching a movie in bed with a big bowl of popcorn on my lap?"

"Nope, guess again!"

"Going out to the movies...?" Bella tried. I hated when she did this. She never just told us what it was, she made us guess.

Rose let out a frustrated sigh and shook her head, "Emmett invited me to one of his friends huge house parties. He said he wanted to show off his gorgeous new girlfriend, I couldn't agree with him more and I am making you two come."

Bella snorted, "I am not going. I can not dance and I'm the chief of police's daughter. If he found out I was at a party with drinking I would be grounded until I graduate college. So, yeah, not happening."

I rolled my eyes at her. "I'm in! An other reason to go shopping for a new outfit!"

After school we met each other at the mall and set out to find the perfect outfit. We had been there for hours before we went to Forever 21 and found the winners. Mine was a black tube top, but had a sequined sash across one shoulder that was covered in sequins and beads. I matched it with a pair of light blue skinny jeans.

Rose had a tight black one shoulder dress that was ruched all over. It hugged all of her curves, but covered enough to show that she was taken.

We changed back in to our other clothes and went on line to buy our party outfits.

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We pulled up to the house in Emmett's big jeep and hopped out of the car. Emmett took Rosalie's arm and they went in together. I walked in behind them, shocked by the amount of people who were there.

Rose turned back to me, "we're going to go find some of his friends. You going to be okay by yourself?"

I nodded at her._ Why wouldn't I be?_

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A/N: It was short, but next chapter everything happens. Review please and I'll have the drama filled chapter up quick. I already have the next two chapters finished, so more reviews = faster update 8)


	2. You Will Leave A Mark

**A/N: Thanks everyone for all of the reviews, favorites, and alerts! They make me happy =) Since a lot of you reviewed I decided to post the next chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters... I'm just borrowing them.**

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You Will Leave A Mark

My eyes moved around the room searching for a familiar face, but even though there were well over a hundred people in the house I could not find one. I decided to give up and spotted an empty seat on the couch across the room. I contemplated whether I should go around the mass of people cheering for someone doing a keg stand or the couples grinding against each other on the 'dance floor'. Definitely keg stand.

The loud bass of the music was making the floor beneath me shake. _It's a good thing Bella's clumsiness didn't rub off on me._ The group around the keg stand all shouted in unison as the drinker was placed on their feet and threw his hands in the air. I shook my head and kept squeezing in between them, glad to be tiny.

I finally reached the couch and fell in to the soft cushion. My eyes slowly closed as I let my head fall backwards. I allowed Rosalie to drag me here because I wanted to buy clothes, it didn't even register in my mind that I might not know anyone. Now I had no one to talk to. Rose barely talked to anyone except Emmett, how would I have anyone. I usually got along with most people, but everyone here was drunk, high or they wanted to get your clothes off. It was rare that I found myself in uncomfortable situations, but I, Alice Brandon had succeeded in doing just that.

I felt the cushion sink down as somebody sat down next to me. I didn't even bother opening my eyes to see who it was, they probably weren't interested in talking to me, but my body involuntarily tensed. After a couple of minutes, I figured the person didn't sit down to talk to me, so I relaxed my shoulders. At first I thought I had imagined something touching my leg, but it came again. This time I knew it was not my mind playing tricks. My eyes shot open and I looked down at my thigh. A hand was gripping just above my knee and slowly sliding upwards. I looked at the hand, then up the arm until I finally found the face the hand belonged to.

He had short blonde hair, stormy gray eyes and a grin that made me sick. He looked a little familiar, but I couldn't place him. I quickly slid from under his grasp and tried to walk away and find somewhere else to sit. He caught on to my hand and gripped it hard. I tried ripping it away, but he was too strong for me. There were so many people around, but I was sure none of them would give a second look if I screamed.

"What's the matter baby? You scared you won't be good enough for me?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. "As long as you got it, I'll take it." His eyes roamed up and down my body making my stomach twist.

I gave an other pull and my hand finally slipped out of his grip. "Don't flatter yourself." I turned and disappeared in to the crowed, searching for Rosalie. We haven't even been at the party for a half hour and I already wanted to go home. I walked in to the kitchen to find people playing never have I ever at the counter and strip poker at the table, so I walked out on to the deck where I found Rose and Emmett playing beer pong.

I walked over to their side of the table as a ball landed in a cup, she picked it up and chugged it down. "Rose? Do you think we could leave soon?"

She glanced at me incredulously, said "Alice lighten up and have some fun. I'll find you in a couple of hours and then we can leave," threw a ball at the other teams cups and missed.

I shook my head and walked back in to the house, knowing there was no way I would get her to leave. _If only she knew that I just got groped by some creep. _She would probably tell me I was overreacting. _No one would dare do that at one of these parties, _I thought sarcastically.

If she didn't want to take me home then I would have to find my own way. I pulled out my cell phone and walked in to an empty bedroom. I sat on the edge of the bed looking out the window when I started dialing Bella's number. Edward was going away with his parents so I doubted she would be doing anything. I heard the door creak behind me, while footsteps came in to the room.

I turned around after only entering the first three numbers, "I'll be done in a minute and then you can have the room..." I trailed off when I saw the blonde guy from before standing at the door with the same sickening smile on his face. He closed the door with his foot and stepped towards me.

He took my phone away and shut it so I couldn't call Bella or anyone else for that matter. I slid off the bed and backed up against the wall, realizing I had just cornered myself. He came to stand right in front of me and placed his hands on my hips. I tried to get away, but he held me there firmly as he started to slide them up to my chest. I turned my head away from him as he dug his face in to my neck, smelling my hair.

"Has anyone ever told you how good you smell?" _Has anyone told you how creepy you are?_

I tried pushing him away with my hands, but it had no effect. He grunted, tore me away from the wall and threw me on to the bed. My hands wrapped around the edges of the mattress as I tried to pull myself off of the bed and towards the door as he ripped my shoes off my feet.

"You're not getting away from me again tonight. You're staying here through the whole thing and I don't care if you enjoy it." Tears started falling from my eyes as he flipped me over and started unbuttoning my jeans I kicked and started to scream at the top of my lungs, but I knew it was no use. The music coming from the main room was drowning out my cries for help.

"NO! _NO!_"

He slapped me across the face as an attempt to shut me up and sat on top of my legs so I couldn't kick. He smiled at me when he started sliding my pants down my legs. I grabbed at my thighs to try and pull them back up, but that only resulted in more pain as he twisted my wrists and held them above my head in one hand.

I continued screaming at him, crying "no", but I knew nothing was going to stop him as he reached for my panties. Then those too slid down my legs and were thrown on to the floor. His hand that was not holding my wrists found the place he was looking for, I gasped and let out more screams. Soon, his hands were replaced and pain surged through the lower half of my body.

My screams eventually died down and I stopped fighting him as the pain ripped through my body and he took the one thing I was saving. The one thing that was for the person I fell in love with. He would be the reason I won't be able to enjoy something everyone brags about.

I closed my eyes and tried to leave myself, to block out what was happening to me. As hard as I tried though, I was stuck feeling the pain. Stuck knowing who was touching me. This was something I would never be able to forget. This was something that would forever change me.

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A/N: I've decided to put the songs I listen to while writing the chapters at the bottom of the story. Hopefully I remember to do it after every chapter.

**1. You Will Leave A Mark – A Silent Film (inspiration for the chapter name)**

**2. Open Your Eyes – Andrew Belle**

**I'm probably going to use song names as the chapter names, so if I ever forget and you want to know the artist just remind me in a review or PM me. Speaking of reviews, press the little button below to tell me how you liked this chapter. Remember: more reviews = faster update.**


	3. Please Don't Go

A/N: Thank you everyone who commented, added to favorites and alert, it makes me REALLY happy! Now here's chapter 3.

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Please Don't Go

He had finished a while ago, but I was still laying on the bed trying to make myself get up or at the very least open my eyes.

I took a deep breath and opened my eyes. I looked around and saw the room in detail for the first time. The walls were a maroon color, the bed had a gold comforter with a mix of maroon and gold throw pillows at the top. To any other person it would have looked like a normal room with a lamp, closet, and drawers, but to me it was hell.

I slid off the bed, ignoring the ache that was running through my body. I quickly pulled my panties and pants back on, grabbed my phone and shoes from off the floor and ran out the bedroom door. I didn't want to find Rose and tell her what happened, I didn't even want to find Emmett so he could kill who ever did this to me. I just kept running out the front door and down the street. I ran until I couldn't breath anymore, turning on to random blocks. I had no idea where I would end up and I didn't care.

I ran behind a strip of stores and collapsed against the wall. The tears began to leak from my eyes and I pulled my knees to my chest letting out loud sobs that I didn't bother to control.

The door next to me flew open and someone stepped out holding a big black garbage bag. I watched him as he swung the bag in to the dumpster and then turn around just to stop dead and stare at me in shock.

He squinted for a second and then said, "Alice? Is that you?"

I sniffled before I let out a squeaky "yeah." I looked at his face through my tears and realized it was Jasper Whitlock. He had a white apron over a blue tee-shirt and jeans. Jasper was in a couple of my classes and was also my Bio lab partner. I had never really spoken to him except when we were dissecting a frog or looking in a microscope.

He slowly walked forward and kneeled in front of me so my hazel eyes were looking in to his light green ones. "Are-are you okay?"

A very high-pitched "no" escaped my throat as I broke down in to sobs again. Jasper looked at me wide eyed, moving his jaw to try and find the right words.

"I'm getting off of work right now. I just have to punch out and then I'll be right back." He turned to walk back in to the door but suddenly I didn't want to be alone.

"Don't go."

His blonde hair flew as he whipped back his head. "I promise I'll be back in two minutes then I'll stay with you."

I nodded and he walked back in to the building. My phone started to vibrate in my pocket and I remembered that Rosalie was still at the party. I slid it out and flipped it open to face her, even if it was the last thing I wanted to do at the moment.

"H-hello?"

"_Alice? Alice, where did you go? Are you still here?" _She yelled over the music in the background.

I tried to calm myself down so my voice didn't sound shaky. "No."

"_Where did you go?" _She was annoyed.

"I-I..." I looked up and Jasper walked out again with a jacket instead of the apron. His brow was furrowed above his worried eyes. My body started to shake, he held out his hand to take the phone away from me. I handed it to him knowing I wouldn't be able to talk much longer. We were from totally different cliques in school and we weren't considered friends, but he was being nicer to me then I would have expected. _At least one guy in this world isn't a complete jerk._

He took it and held it up to his ear confidently. "Hello?... Jasper Whitlock. Who are you?... Oh... No, I'll get her home... I'll tell her, but she doesn't look like she's going to want to talk later either... I know, I got her... Okay bye."

Jasper placed the phone in my palm and held out his hands to help me up after I slid it back in to my pocket. I grabbed on to them and shakily stood up. My legs started to wobble and I felt myself falling to the floor. Strong arms caught me around the waist, steadied me and stayed there so I wouldn't lose my balance again.

"She said to tell you to call her when you get home."

"I-I can't talk to her." I felt horrible about it, but it was the truth. I tried to get her to leave, but she was too busy getting drunk. She was there while I was... when my life was torn apart. I don't blame her, but I resent the fact that she could have helped me. If there was anyone to blame, it is the blonde bastard.

"Alice, if you don't mind me asking, what exactly happened to you? You have a bruise forming on your face, your wrists are purple and you can barely walk." I looked down at my wrists to see that they were in fact purple; if you looked close enough, you could see the outline of fingers. I put a hand to my face and winced. There was definitely a bruise there.

I wanted to tell him what had happened tonight, I felt like I needed to tell him. "Can we go somewhere else before I tell you what happened?" I looked up at him from under my eyelashes.

He smiled down at me, "of course, we'll take my car though. I don't think you can last that much longer on your feet." Jasper was right; if his arm had not been around my waist I would have collapsed.

I was lead to a black 2001 Mitsubishi Eclipse; the lights blinked twice when he unlocked it. He opened the passengers door and eased me in to the seat, then he got in to the drivers seat, started the car and looked at me.

"Where do you want to go?" I just shrugged my shoulders. "We could go back to my house if you want."

"What about your parents?"

His eyes glanced at the clock on the dashboard, it was almost 10:30, " they'll either be asleep or in a totally different part of the house. They probably won't even realize we're there."

I felt Jasper's concerned eyes on me as he waited for a response. Most girls probably wouldn't want to be alone with a guy after what just happened to me, but Jasper made me feel protected. I knew he wouldn't do anything to hurt me.

"Okay." He nodded and pulled out of the parking lot, then set off towards his house. How I was going to be able to tell him everything, I had no idea. For some reason I just knew that I could trust him.

I leaned in to the seat as he turned on the radio. We were both quiet most of the ride, only talking about the heat or radio. The only thing I was trying to focus on was keeping my eyes open. I couldn't stand seeing those nauseating stormy gray eyes every time I started to drift off. They would hover over me looking almost teasingly, knowing what they had taken from me. It made me gasp each time and grab the seat. It would earn a worried look from Jasper or he would touch my hand to try and comfort me, if only he knew that at this point there was no way to comfort me.

As he helped me out of the car when we arrived, I knew I had made all of the pain worse by sprinting, but that didn't bother me as much as it should have. The pain made my situation feel real and right then it was exactly what I needed: to face reality. I didn't want to end up like those girls on TV who shut themselves out from everyone because they can't face what has happened to them. I might not be able to think the word and I sure as hell won't be able to say it out loud, but I know I am strong. I just have to cling to that.

I didn't remember walking up to it, but we were already at the door, key in his hand ready to unlock it. A small part of me was terrified to go in to a house where no one would hear me scream. I am vulnerable and both mentally and physically exhausted, I have no more fight left in me, but the other larger half knows that I have nothing to worry about.

I shut out all concerns and stepped in to the house and I understood why we would not wake up his parents: his house was _huge_. And when I say huge I mean it's the size of a mansion with extremely high ceilings, a chandelier, spiraling stairs... I had never seen a place like this in our little town which made me a little confused as to where we were. I mentally shook myself of the shock and got ready to face the real reason why we had come here: to tell Jasper what had happened to me that night.

He took me elbow and lead me up the spiral stairs to the second floor which was even more flawless than the first. He stopped me in front of a door while he opened it to display a large room with navy blue walls. The bed sat against the right wall with the TV hanging against the wall across from it. The wall to the left was adorned with books upon books while still allowing a door for the closet and a door for a bathroom.

Jasper walked in to the room while I still stood at the door and took a seat on his bed. "You don't have to stand at the door, you are allowed to come in you know?"

A small smile crept on to his face and I stepped in and started walking to take a seat next to him on the bed. Once in front of it I suddenly stopped and I gasped. "_You're not getting away from me again __tonight. You're staying here through the whole thing and I don't care if you enjoy it." Then I was flipped over to look in to those eyes._

A hand on my shoulder pulled me out of my memories. "Alice, what's wrong?"

I cautiously looked up in to Jasper's eyes, relieved that they had not turned the shade of a cold gray. "I can't sit on the bed."

His brow furrowed in confusion and then I saw something flick on in his eyes. I didn't know what it was, but he understood me and sat on his carpet while patting the spot in front him. I sat down facing him.

I knew he was expecting me to spill. Better sooner than later. I picked at the rug as I launched in to the worst night of my life, "Today during lunch Rosalie invited me to a party at one of her boyfriend, Emmett's friends house. I said yes at the thought of buying a new outfit," I shrugged my shoulders. "I guess I really hadn't thought about the things that mattered like who I would talk to. Anyway when we got there Rose and Emmett walked off leaving me alone. I guess they thought I would find someone to talk to out of all the people there, plus I usually have no problems with making new friends. But that's usually when the people aren't drunk and high.

I didn't know what else to do, so I sat on an empty couch and closed my eyes. Then someone sat down next to me and I thought nothing of it until... until he started to slide his hand up my thigh." I stopped playing with the carpet and saw Jasper's eyes glued to my face. For the rest of the story I would try to look him in the eyes. "I got off the couch and even when he grabbed my wrist and told me that he didn't care if I was good enough, he would take it anyways, I ran to go find Rose.

"Of course she was already drunk and didn't want to leave. I don't really blame her; she wanted to make a good impression. I didn't feel like waiting around for her when he was lurking around the party so I went in to an empty bedroom to call Bella. I hadn't dialed more the three numbers when I heard the door behind me."

"Oh God," Jasper whispered as the spark that was in his eyes before lit back up again.

I took a deep breath and continued, "at first I just thought it was someone who walked in on accident and didn't realize I was there, but it was clear he knew damn well who was sitting in that room. He got me cornered against the wall." My voice was getting higher and higher as I went on while tears began leaking from my eyes. Jasper's warm hands gently covered my small ones and he gave me a reassuring squeeze. I couldn't close my eyes. If I did I would have a clear vision of what I was retelling, so I looked at his hands trying to memorize each line.

"He threw me on to the bed and after I tried to pull myself off the bed towards the door he threw my shoes. He told me, 'you're not getting away from me again tonight. You're staying here through the whole thing and I don't care if you enjoy it.' I screamed and cried, but the music was too loud for anyone to hear. By that point I knew I wouldn't be able to stop him. My shoving and kicking were nothing against him. I'm tiny Alice and he was huge. He ripped my pants down my legs and then once those had landed on the floor he went back for the last piece of clothing that was blocking him from his goal.

"At first it was just his finger, but then-"

"Alice," Jasper said softly, "you don't have to tell me the rest."

I looked up from his hands. "Yes I do." He only gave a small nod.

"He then took the one thing I was saving for someone special from me and all I could do was lie there and let him. He stole the thing I could never get back. After he was done, he left the room as if nothing had happened except for saying a smug thanks. I laid on the bed for a while before sprinting to where you found me. I didn't tell Rose or Emmett and I didn't call anyone I just ran there... to you."

I looked back up at his face, which was pained and he threw his arms around me. He squeezed me lightly and I felt myself relaxing in to his hold and putting my arms around him; feeling his tears mix in with my own. It felt good to be in someones arms who wasn't about to do you harm. I didn't know Jasper well, but somehow I knew he would help me through this.

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A/N: Jasper's here! Would anyone like to see a chapter in his POV? What do you think is going to happen? Let me know in a review!

**Songs: 1. Breathe Me – Sia 2. Runaway – Yeah Yeah Yeahs 3. Please Don't Go – Barcelona**

**The next chapter might take a little longer to get up because I have a really busy week, but maybe if I have more reviews it'll make me want to write faster ;) **


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